The Greatest Cereal in the World

Look at that. Just look at it. If that doesn't make you hungry for that very food item, then the readers of TheFlow will tell you, rightly, to go fuck yourself.

I am sure you have guessed right now, unless you were expecting a patented Carmy misdirect, that CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH is the winner of 2012 March Cereal Madness!!!!!!!!!!!

What may be a surprise, to some, is that the championship match was never even close. Frosted Flakes fought hard -- and is a damn fine cereal -- but couldn't overcome an early 13-2 deficit. What's interesting is that from that point on, the two cereals fought to a draw. Our final score was 30-19.

What started as a terrific concept full of potential drama and intrigue turned into this year's basketball version of March Madness, where only 1 team ever had a snowball's chance. The only difference is Cinnamon Toast Crunch leaves with you with a delightful taste in your mouth, whereas the basketball tournament was like chewing excedrin.

Anyway, let's not taint Chef Wendell's victory. Since 1984, his little cinnamon-sugar-dusted squares have been giving children a reason to wake up in the morning -- besides of course, childhood being the only good time of a person's life. It's good to know that I have never lived in world without Cinnamon Toast Crunch. And as long as NBC doesn't buy General Mills, it never will.

March Cereal Madness: All Roads Lead to One

First things first: THE RESULTS

Final 4:

1. Frosted Flakes defeats 1. Honey Nut Cheerios 28-27

Years from now, this tournament will be remembered by this matchup.

Today's Matchup: THE FINAL

1. Cinnamon Toast Crunch vs. 1. Frosted Flakes

Let's just get to the poll shall we?

March Cereal Madness: FINAL 4, Day 2

First things first: THE RESULTS

FINAL 4

1. Cinnamon Toast Crunch defeats 4. Lucky Charms 28-11

Cinnamon Toast Crunch continues its dominance. Frankly, this whole thing is getting ridiculous.

Today's Matchup:

1. Honey Nut Cheerios vs. 1. Frosted Flakes

Roads to the Final Four:

1. Honey Nut Cheerios defeated:

8. French Toast Crunch

4. Apple Jacks

7. Kix

1. Frosted Flakes defeated:

8. Crunch Berries

4. Honey Bunches of Oats

3. Corn Pops

The Skim: This is the matchup that I've been looking forward to. Honey Nut Cheerios has absolutely steamrolled its opponents. It also is a Cheerios brand - the only remaining Cheerios cereal - which could garner the nostalgia vote. Frosted Flakes hasn't run up the score quite like HNC, but it hasn't really had a real scare. These two really are the perfect opponents -- flakes vs. o's, honey vs. sugar, bee vs. tiger. Enough talk, let's see who wins. Gee, I'd hate to be the one handicapping this one...

The Line: Honey Nut Cheerios -4

March Cereal Madness: FINAL 4

First things first: THE RESULTS

Safeway Bracket: Elite 8

4. Lucky Charms defeats 3. Corn Flakes 22-15

Somewhat unsurprisingly, Lucky Charms is the only non-1-seed to make the cereal final 4. Is it nostalgia that carried Lucky Charms all this way? The decadent mix of "marshmallows" (no other marshmallow cereal even won a match)? Or luck?

A&P Bracket: Elite 8

1. Frosted Flakes defeats 3. Corn Pops 23-14

Frosted Flakes may not have been the dominant 1-seed that CTC and HNC have been, but it has been solid in all 3 of its matchups thus far.

TODAY'S MATCH:

FINAL 4:

1. Cinnamon Toast Crunch vs. 4. Lucky Charms

Roads to the Final Four:

1. Cinnamon Toast Crunch defeated:

8. Golden Grahams

5. Life

3. Raisin Bran

4. Lucky Charms defeated:

5. Cap'n Crunch

1. Fruit Loops

3. Corn Flakes

The Skim: Cinnamon Toast Crunch has CRUSHED every opponent into those delicious crumbles at the end of the box, but Lucky Charms might have the more impressive resume. As previously mentioned, Lucky Charms has someone survived the general antipathy towards marshmallow cereals. What is it that sets it apart? With Cinnamon Toast Crunch, on the other hand, one need not wonder. Its formula for success is simple, yet inimitable.

The Line: CTC -11.5

March Cereal Madness: Cerea-lite 8 Day 2

First things first: THE RESULTS

Stop & Shop Bracket: Elite 8

1. Cinnamon Toast Crunch defeats 3. Raisin Bran 30-9

The CTC keeps on swirlin'. I don't know what else I can say that its performance hasn't said already.

Publix Bracket: Elite 8

1. Honey Nut Cheerios defeats 7. Kix 25-13

Kix, even in defeat, can still make bettors happy (it beat the spread). It was the little puff that could... until it couldn't. HNC and CTC look like locks to face each other in the championship match, unless today's competitors have anything to say about it.

Today's Matchups:

Safeway Bracket: Elite 8

4. Lucky Charms vs. 3. Corn Flakes

The Skim: Lucky Charms has had two close games in this contest, but I don't think any cereal has a stronger resume of slain opponents. Cap'n Crunch and Fruit Loops had their eyes on the prize, but now each lies at the feet of Lucky the Leprechaun and his milk-stained shillelagh. While Lucky Charms had roared to the quarterfinals, Corn Flakes has crept without so much as a cock-call. Corn Flakes has a solid resume too, crumbling Cookie Crisp and goin' coocoo all over the Cocoa Puffs. Will the luck of the Irish end? (it almost always does).

The Line: Lucky Charms -2.5

A&P Bracket: Elite 8

1. Frosted Flakes vs. 3. Corn Pops

The Skim: Corn Pops' smackdown of Trix opened A LOT of eyes, including mine. This little nugget might be the perfect combination of sweet and... not that sweet. Frosted Mini-Wheats was too much of a clash for people to handle -- society wasn't ready for a lot of things it had to say. Corn Pops on the other hand, is the moderate candidate, with which all breakfast-eaters find some common ground. Not so fast, said Tony the Tiger. His little flakes do what Corn Pops lauds itself for, only better (Tony's words, not mine). He also takes issue with my declaration that Cinnamon Toast Crunch is the world leader in LMD (leftover milk deliciousness).

The Line: Frosted Flakes -5

March Cereal Madness: The Cerea-lite 8

First things first: THE RESULTS

Stop & Shop Bracket: Sweet 16

3. Raisin Bran defeats 2. Cheerios 22-16

Shock. Today, fairweather toddlers everywhere are reaching their disgusting fingers into ziploc baggies of Raisin Bran.

Safeway Bracket: Sweet 16

3. Corn Flakes defeats 2. Cocoa Puffs 26-13

Plain is the new sweet.

Publix Bracket: Sweet 16

7. Kix defeats 6. Rice Krispies 22-17

This is a rarity: a cinderella story that nearly all pundits predicted. That folks, is why we don't work at ESPN.

A&P Bracket: Sweet 16

3. Corn Pops defeats 2. Trix 29-9

Corn Pops might just be the below-the-radar team in the tourney. I expect their Elite 8 matchup with Frosted Flakes to be the type of grind-it-out back-and-forth showdown you'd expect from these two titans.

Today's Matchups:

Safeway Bracket: Elite 8

1. Cinnamon Toast Crunch vs. 3. Raisin Bran

The Skim: CTC has not come close to sogging in this tournament, and I for one am not surprised. Some have called it "the perfect cereal," with its bite-size squares swirled with cinnamon-sugar. It even tastes good when it loses its crunch. Let us not forget that CTC might lead the world in LMD (leftover milk deliciousness). Raisin Bran on the other hand, is almost a surprise competitor in the Elite 8. The fashionable first-round upset choice was Cocoa Krispies over the now-rolling Raisin Bran. Well, the Bran has left all the way to the bank, be it for the fiber or the... fiber.

The Line: CTC -17

Publix Bracket: Elite 8

1. Honey Nut Cheerios vs. 7. Kix

The Skim: Honey Nut Cheerios has been the most unscathed cereal in the tourney - it has won by an average of 26 votes. Now, as the lone Cheerios representative, the HNC might even gain some steam as regular Cheerios-backers might throw their support towards HNC. Meanwhile, not only do kids love Kix, but based on this tournament, so do maturity-deficient adults.

The Line: HNC -19.5

I gave us an extra few days for the last polls because, frankly, I think the tournament's star has fallen and I wanted to bolster the votership numbers.... it didn't work. Please vote.