Who lets Celebrities be so Stupid?

10/23/2008 1:00 PM, Reuters - Beyonce would like to be known as "Sasha Fierce"

So Beyonce wants to be known by her alter ego "Sasha Fierce". This is bullshit. How many alter egos can you have? I thought she was already Foxy Cleopatra, and a whole lot of woman!



"I have someone else that takes over when it's time for me to work and when I'm on stage, this alter ego that I've created that kind of protects me and who I really am," the former Destiny's Child frontwoman said in a statement.

"Sasha Fierce is the fun, more sensual, more aggressive, more outspoken side and more glamorous side that comes out when I'm working and when I'm on the stage."

Really? Are you kidding me? Someone that takes over... More glamorous... I cant take this shit. Where do these celebrities get off? You cant just start calling yourself by a different name. First it started with rappers. What ever happened to your rap name just being your nickname like, "Biggie" or "LL Cool J". Now a days its just stupid shit where every rapper whose a little bitch puts "little" in front of their name and thinks it automatically gives them street cred. You cant just give yourself a nickname or an alter ego ("Kenny Kobes"). If you want to be a bad ass, you want to be hard, have a hard name and hit the street. You didn't see Tupac Shakur changing his name. No, he already had a hard ass name given to him by his Black Panther mother. If you want an alter ego you need to be so mentally unstable that you develop one. Will society just eat whatever shit celebrities feed them these days. I hope "Sasha Fierce" goes bankrupt over this. I hope Jay-Z dumps her because she is such an ass clown. GOD DAMN IT!

Original Story from Yahoo
http://music.yahoo.com/read/news/61803020

- Carl

Chris Berman is a Dick

At least Marino isn't a horrible sportscaster and then a huge dickhead...



What a rumblin' bumblin' BASTARD.

- Carl

Sexy Chick Dancing

VOLUME IS A MUST! This is my new favorite youtube video. Is it strange that this girl gives me a boner? At least she is enjoying herself and bringing it 100% for the entire song. The song is hot too! Its called "Buddha's Delight" by Haley Bennett. Must be some Euro shit.

Your Welcome,
- Carl

The Ganja Queen

So by now everyone has seen the documentary The Ganja Queen about Australian Schapelle Corby who was caught trying to smuggle 4.2 kg (about 9 lbs.) of pot stored in her boogie board bag into Bali. Long story short she got 20 years in a Indonesian prison, the trial was crazy, yada, yada, yada, see the movie. Bottom line is... she's a smoke show. I mean what do you have to do to get a conjugal in a Balinese prison?

The fact of the matter is this girl is guilty as sin. Maybe she shouldn't be sentenced to 20 years in an Indonesian prison, but this bitch knew what was going on. From my extensive internet research of the situation I have been able to find out the real deal of what went down. Recently this guy Malcolm McCauley who just served 15 months in prison came out and revealed what really happened. He said that he had been selling pot to Corby's father since 2000, and that her father and delinquent brothers had been smuggling it into Bali for years. They would pack a shit load in a bag with $1,000 US as a bribe for the Indonesian custom officials, and the officials would just take the money and waive the bag through. Sometimes the bags wouldn't get checked, and they would make out with the pot and the money.

Apparently on the trip where she got arrested her douche brother James Kasina had already taken the $1,000. Who knows why? Maybe he owed someone money, or maybe he just thought they would get away with it scott free, but he got her fucked. Although McCauley says that Schapelle had never been part of the plan before, he admits that she knew about the whole operation. So when the customs official asked whose bag it was, and it was her bag, she took it from her brother and opened it up for the official thinking that the money would be there and they would be all good. Instead there was just a huge bag of stinky weed and she was about to enter a world of trouble. McCauley even went to Bali a week after Schapelle was arrested to speak with her and make sure that he was in the clear. Eventually photos of the two during that visit were found when McCauley's house was raided and he was busted for drugs in an unrelated case. So basically this chick is just a soldier. She is doing her time like any self respecting member of the drug community should, and I applaud her for that.

Luckily Schapelle didn't get the death penalty by a firing squad, which is the maximum penalty for this offense, because that would be a waste of some nice Australian ass. But to be honest i don't feel that bad for her. It was a stupid move by her. If your running drugs to a foreign country that has some serious penalties for drug offenses you need to stick to the fucking plan. Don't take the situation into your own hands unless you know the operation inside and out, which she obviously did not. And what a shitty plan to begin with. Yeah it had been working for years, and I know people say try not to make things too complicated, but you at least have to have an inside man. I'm not condoning drug trafficing or the use of drugs, but its marijuana. Come on! 20 years for pot, that sucks! I think the world needs to go in either 2 directions. Legalize everything, or at least pot and cocaine, and let the paramedics sort it out, or make take a strong stance and really give everyone who gets caught with drugs a boot in the ass. As long as we keep booze everything will be fine, but that is a discussion for another post. Peace.

- Carl

Don't Worry... Hot Chicks

I know that the few people who read this blog have been scared shitless to close their eyes the last few days because of the horrifying nature of the most recent post. Don't worry, I am here to salvage what small part of your soul that wasn't destroyed by watching the freak videos. I will introduce you to the cause and cure to all life's problems... Hot chicks.

This is Meagan Good. She is a 26 year old actress who has appeared in many things including House Party 3, Waist Deep (not a porno), and The Love Guru. She is straight up gorgeous. You can't teach sex appeal like this. How does she walk down the street without every guy humping her like Jack Russel Terriers? I mean I'm basically obsessed. If I could find naked pictures of this girl she would be like my number 1 beat-offer-to.

Susie Feldman. Wait a minute, you mean like Corey Feldman? Yeah unfortunately I do. If you don't remember who Corey Feldman is don't worry about it, I don't exactly either. All I remember is he is one of those 80's douche bags that was in Lost Boys. I'm not sure if its the really cracked out one, or if its the one who was also in Goonies. Needless to say, this chick obviously has some baggage if she is married to one of those tools. This is the kind of crap that really pisses me off. Some little smart mouthed bitch 5 year old gets his 15 minutes of fame 20 years ago, ruins his career with rampant drug use, and is now a career fuck up with a smoking hot wife. I just don't get it. Ladies, do you have an answer? If you do speak up. Maybe this guy has a huge donkey dick or something, but I didn't see him on the Freak post, so I doubt it. Anyways, I love what this chick is working with.

This is Joanna Krupa. She is a Polish-American model. This just isn't fair for all the women out there. There is absolutely no chance that any girl that will ever read this blog is as hot as Joanna Krupa. If you read this and think that's a false statement, than feel free to email a few pictures of yourself to hittingtheflow@yahoo.com, and my colleagues and I will be he judge. Ladies don't feel offended, this isn't fair to us men either. Just once I would like to fuck a girl this hot, just once, but it will never happen.


Danielle Lloyd. Hot name, hot tits, hot everything. She was Miss England 2004, and now she does the reality TV circuit in the U.K. Oh man this chick is hot, shes young (24) and you know she shags like a minx because she is from England. Celebrities in England do even less than Celebrities in the States. All they do is go on vacations to sweet beaches and take off their tops. The one thing that I do respect about England is that everyone hates to work and they just drink their faces off and watch soccer. If your from England than you have to love to drink beer. There is nothing else to do there because the weather and the food are so shitty. Anyways, I want to be in her.

So there are few beauties to get your minds of the Freaks, Peace.

- Carl

Chimp Tries to Make a Run for It

Chimp in Daring Zoo Break-Out

ICHIRO! July 23rd - At the Ishikawa Zoo in western Japan a 42 year old chimpanzee named Ichiro valiantly tried to escape from captivity. He was almost successful, as the video shows, but eventually his captors were able to lure him with a banana and tranquilize him. Chimps are no joke, believe you me. I don't know this from experience or biological statistics, but I heard they are like 12X stronger then humans. I read this one story (in the Washington Post) about two years ago about a couple who rescued a female baby chimp and raised it in their home. Eventually after like 15 years the chimp got too aggressive, and needed a real habitat to live in, so the couple gave the chimp to a wildlife refuge that had other full grown chimpanzees. The couple kept in touch with the chimp and went for occasional visits. A year went by and the couple goes to celebrate the chimps birthday. They have a cake and balloons, the whole bit. They even got to go to a secure area of the refuge where they could have a picnic and play with their chimp. Unknowns to them, two full grown male chimps had escaped from their cages on the other side of the refuge. So all of a sudden these two huge chimps show up and start to freak out when they see the humans. The female chimp grabs the women and throws her under a table and tries to protect her. Meanwhile, the male chimps are literally ripping the man limb from limb. First they ripped of his testicles, then they tore the muscle right of the bone of his ass and chest. Obviously the man died, but the female chimp fought back to protect the woman, and lost her life doing so. The grounds keepers got there just in time to shoot the chimps and save the woman. Crazy huh? Its great that the female chimp tried to save her human parents, but this is why you don't fuck with animals. So its no surprise to see that little Japanese guy freak out once the chimp grabs his gun. You can see it in his face as he peers over that ledge that he knows hes in way over his head. I wish Ichiro could've handled that gun and blown those guys away. If chimps have almost the same life expectancy as humans, and can learn sign language and shit, you know they can handle a weapon. Everyone knows how to shoot a gun, and he has probably seen a gun be used hundreds of times. Personally I'm disappointed. I'm sure hes regretting that delicious banana now.

- Carl

P.S. This is the story. Not Exactly how I remembered it, but whatever.

Jessica Simpson Sex Tape?

Jessica Simpson Sex Tape

All right, this is just speculation, but apparently there is a Jessica Simpson sex tape. When I first saw this I was pumped, but then I realized there are always two people in a Sex Tape, your Tommy to Pam, your black guy to Kim Kardashian, or your under-aged girl covered in piss to R. Kelly. So who will it be Jessica? If its that piece of shit Tony Romo I might not even be able to watch, and if I do, I'll have to rip my eyes out after. Didn't she date that little bitch John Mayer? If its that clown I may just cry at the fact that a douche bag like him even had the pleasure. So who is the only person that can save this sex tape for me? Nick Lachey. I know it might sound gay, but at least I can respect this guy. He has nothing going for him these days, his career is a joke, he's from the Midwest, and he's getting old. But at least he is still pounding prime grade A pussy and sluggin Miller Lites. I think now he's plowing that Vanessa Minnillo chick. Well done Lachey. So for our sake, lets all hope that there is a video out there of Jessica Simpson going to P-Town.

- Carl

Re: WNBA Brawl

How the hell did that one bitch hurt her knee trying to restrain the other bitch? I mean, I've seen some freak injuries, and I've seen some brawls in sports, but these broads had it all. A man knocking over a giant women, bitches crying, a girl ripping up her knee. The only thing they didnt have was someone actually getting hit with a punch. Typical women, even when the are in a fist fight all they can do is whine and feel sorry for themselves.

- Carl