Best TV Beards

I haven't been clean shaven in nigh 2 years. Yet I wouldn't call what I have a beard, at least not by beards' standards. It ceases to be the sum of its parts; a mass of hairs patchy in some areas and sparse in others. It seems counter-intuitive to think of a beard as being devoid of laziness, but the clockwork grooming is a necessary element, at least if you want to look cool. Below are some beards from television history that put mine to shame.

Uncle Phil. Fresh Prince of Bel Air James Avery



Uncle Phil rocked the salt-and-pepper look before it was cool. It is truly the most versatile beard on TV. Its obviously a don't-fuck-with-me beard, teeming with so much raw power it's a wonder he didn't toss Jazz all the way to the Bay Area. It also conveys an authoritative "not under my roof." Sophistication, worldliness, weariness, the list goes on and on. But what is truly remarkable about this beard is its raw animal magnetism. Neither of the Aunt Vivs could drop trow fast enough when Uncle Phil flashed the charm.

Dr. Teeth. The Muppet Show. Himself.



Throwing in a neck beard is bending the rules a little bit, but to my credit its length was scrupulously maintained. Plus, a beardless Dr. Teeth just doesn't translate to frontman of the Electric Mayhem. This is the kind of a beard that empowers a man to defeat all this "No means NO" nonsense...


Rape joke

Al Borland. Home Improvement. Richard Karn



Al fucking Borland. Possibly the most genial beard this side of the North Pole, it is no wonder a simple assistant's fanbase can far outnumber that of Tool Time's showrunner Tim Taylor. Who wouldn't trust this beard with their daughters?

Commander William T. Riker. Star Trek: The Next Generation. Jonathan Frakes



Although the above picture eliminates the need for any explanation, there is simply so much to mention about this iconic beard. In addition to being copied by every single Just For Men model, Riker's glorious beard actually spawned the phrase "Growing the Beard," which essentially means the opposite of "jumping the shark." Riker was beardless during the first season of The Next Generation, and the show was considered a critical and commercial disaster. But once the beard graced the small screen in Season 2, the show became a hit. Examples of other hit shows that "grew the beard" are Parks and Rec, and evenSeinfeld!

Can anyone think of other good TV beards?

- Carm