SAVED BY THE BELL d. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (16-15)
Man oh man this one was tighter than Jesse Spano's views on gender roles in society. I don't think anyone was expecting the Turtles to roll over but they too Saved by the Bell to the brink. Despite what people have been saying, the Turtles truly deserved it's spot in the finals.
Let's celebrate our winner...
A deserving winner for sure, here are my top 5 SBTB moments, in no particular order...
The caffeine pill addiction. As a kid that was some scary shit. Looking back it's one of the most unintentionally funny moments in TV history.
The Mystery Weekend episode. Most people know I'm a sucker for a good mystery story. After seeing that one I really wanted to spend a weekend doing the same thing.
Remember when Zack made out with Lisa and Screech flipped out? Yeah that happened. I guess the writers didn't like it considering that it happened once and they never, ever talked about it again.
The mockumentary band episode. You know, the one where Zack Attack takes off and Zack unsurprisingly gets a big head and ditches the rest of the band only to reunite and create the hit single "Friends Forever".
Remember the one where Zack loses Kelly to the guy that, Jeff, that bought the Max? How old was that guy? Like 30? Respect.
Ok that's it. I hope everyone enjoyed voting. I'm sure this isn't the last tournament you'll see on The Flow.
After powering through the TGIF and Such bracket, SBTB saved it's biggest win for the Final Four. It stands as the clear favorite to win the whole damn thing.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles d. Doug (16-14)
Wooo this was a close one and we got a big unexpected win from the Ninja Turtles. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, the Ninja Turtles are fucking awesome. Knocking off Doug was no small feat. Doug came into this as a championship favorite and proved as much by bulldozing the NickToons bracket.
Here we go. We're at the Finals. After two grueling weeks we have two shows left. Does the favorite SBTB still have the strong legs after knocking off such greats as the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Boy Meets World? Or will the Ninja Turtles finish their Cinderella run to the belt?
(2) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. (3) Saved by the Bell
While not part of the cartoon that we're voting for, I had to remind everyone of the great Ninja Turtles movie and Youtube just happened to have the best scene on there....
And here is another great scene from the immortal Saved by the Bell...
The well deserving 1 seed in the Nickelodeon Bracket takes the cake here and moves to the final four. Pete and Pete made a valiant run at it.
Road to the Final Four
defeated (8) The Secret World of Alex Mack (38-8)
defeated (4) Hey Dude (19-3)
defeated (6) Pete and Pete (14-8)
Saved by the Bell d Boy Meets World (13-10)
It would have been nice to get more votes in this one but Saved by the Bell just eeks by the #1 seed and advances to its first final four since the last time some random group of people decided to do a similar tournament.
Road to the Final Four
defeated Full House (35-7)
defeated Fresh Prince (11-10)
defeated Boy Meets World (13-10)
Ladies and Gentleman... your Final Four:
(1) Doug vs. (2) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
(1) Salute Your Shorts vs. (3) Saved by the Bell
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Ladies and Germs,
I'm going to leave yesterday's poll open. We're going to tackle the rest of the Elite 8 today and thanks to the extended weekend I have coming up (SUCKERS!!) we'll be starting the Final Four on Monday.
Nickelodeon Bracket
(1)Salute Your Shorts vs. (6) Pete and Pete
Will this year's Cinderella keep on dancing or will it get swept away by it's toughest competition yet? Here is some classic greatness from both shows...
TGIF and Such Bracket
(1)Boy Meets World vs. (3) Saved by the Bell
Woooooo!!! This stacked bracket isn't getting any easier folks. This one is going to hotly contested. In the blue corner, you have Boy Meets World, a show that piled up 8 great seasons and went took us through the journey of a young Cory Matthews from middle school through college. In the red corner, we have the pop culture smash, Saved by the Bell. Let's not forget what SBTB brought us... a lifelong crush on Kelly Kapowski for the guys and a full length porno from Dustin Diamond for the ladies.
Doug with it's 2nd straight blowout. No problem-o for Quail Man.
Darkwing Duck d. X-Men (13-7)
And our first #1 seed falls. After the rather weak showing against Scooby Doo, this wasn't a huge surprise. Still, this is an upset. I guess I gauged the love for X-Men wrong. Big win for the Terror that Flaps in the Night.
Salute Your Shorts d. Hey Dude (16-2)
Now this was a blowout. I did not expect Hey Dude to have such a weak ass showing. I know everyone loved Hey Dude, I guess Salute Your Shorts was just that much more popular.
Boy Meets World d. Family Matters (15-4)
No big surprise here. We all know BWM to be a staple of adolescent television. We'll see how much grit Boy Meets World has. Because now we're set up for a true battle of titans. Fast forward to about 3:50 into this clip and you'll see why Eric Mathews is the man (no sound needed for you suckers at work).
Elite Eight starts today. Interest seems to be waning though. We're just getting 20 votes a day now. I don't know how we got 40 votes that one time.
We're doing two Elite 8 Matchs Today. Two tomorrow. Final Four will start on Monday....
NickToons Bracket
(1)Doug vs. (2) Rugrats
The only 1 vs. 2 match up in this tournament. These two were set up for a showdown from the start. Doug was certainly more popular but Rugrats held it's own in our time. This one might be close but Doug is the odds on favorite here.
Saturday Morning Bracket
(2)Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. (5)Darkwing Duck
The Dark Duck has pulled out two upsets to get to where it is. Can it get past the juggernaut that are the crime fighting turtles? Can we at least all agree that the Shredder was by far the best villain of the Saturday Morning Cartoons?
We had some weak ass voter turnout today. This isn't like voting for the President people. This is important. Let's look at Yesterday's Results
Rugrats d. Ren and Stimpy (11-9)
Not that surprised here. I know Rugrats had a big following. I am surprised to see that it made a nice comeback. It looked like Ren and Stimpy was on it's way to victory early on.
TMNT d. Animaniacs (15-5)
The closest to a blowout in this round. Again, not a surprise. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is awesome.
Pete and Pete d. Are You Afraid of the Dark? (11-9)
Upset city. 6th seed Pete and Pete has now taken out big time competition in Legends of the Hidden Temple and Are You Afraid of the Dark?. If the glass slipper fits, wear it.
Saved by the Bell d. Fresh Prince (11-9)
It's too bad we have to let go of Fresh Prince in such a weak voter day. This one had the makings of being a real barn burner but instead turned out to be a defensive battle. And I didn't get to post this yesterday, I don't know how I completely forgot. But it needed to be done today...
Let's continue the sweet 16 today. All the #1 seeds advanced in the last round and we'll be seeing them again today. Let's GO.
NickToons Bracket
(1) Doug vs. (5) Rocko's Modern Life
Talk about a tough draw for my main man Rocko. Doug crushed the Angry Beavers in the last round, almost shutting them out (still want to know who voted for Angry Beavers, step up). Rocko defeated the higher seeded Hey Arnold pretty easily itself. Let's see if it can hold it's own against the overall #1 seed.
Saturday Morning Bracket
(1)X-Men vs. (5)Darkwing Duck
The Dark Duck surprisingly cruised past Spider-Man in the last round. We love our ducks here, what can we say? X-Men on the other hand just creeped by Scooooooby Doo. This one should be a lot closer than it looks on paper.
Nickelodeon Bracket
(1) Salute Your Shorts vs. (4) Hey Dude
This is a big time match up here. Both these shows kind of ran at the same time. I'm pretty sure they went on back to back. Both of them were incredibly popular too. I'm looking forward to see how this one plays out.
TGIF and Such Bracket
(1) Boy Meets World vs. (4) Family Matters
After pulling ahead late, Family Matters took a close match up against the immensely popular Step By Step. Let's see how it stacks up against top seeded Boy Meets World.
I guess I doubted the power of the wallaby by making him a 5 seed. Thought there were a lot of Hey Arnold fans out there.
Darkwing Duck d. Spider-Man (22-8)
Did not see this coming. I thought Spider-Man was a Saturday Morning staple. Darkwing Duck fans really showed him what's up.
Hey Dude d. Keenan and Kel (23-8)
No love for orange soda? I had a feeling that Hey Dude would win here but I thought K&K would put up more of a fight.
Family Matters d. Step by Step (17-12)
Family Matters made a nice come back here. Step by Step was leading most of the voting day but Urkel and the gang pulled ahead late and held the lead. You don't expect these kind of choke jobs by Patrick Duffy.
Let's start Round 2, shall we?
NickToons Bracket
(2) Rugrats vs. (3) Ren and Stimpy
This one is a doozy. Many felt that Rugrats was a little past our prime and others feel that Ren and Stimpy was a little before our prime. It's the battle of the cute toddlers that would go on innocent adventures vs. the crude and rude scoundrels.
Saturday Morning Bracket
(2)Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. (3)Animaniacs
I think this is more of a toss up then it looks. Animaniacs was an awesome show and enough people remembered that to allow it to cruise past the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers in the last round. TMNT on the other hand dropped it's own crushing defeat to Goosebumps. This might be the match to watch today.
Nickelodeon Bracket
(2)Are You Afraid of the Dark? vs. (6)The Adventures of Pete and Pete
Pete and Pete pulled out a first round upset on heavy favorite Legends of the Hidden Temple while Dark just narrowly escaped Clarissa. Could the Cinderella story of Pete and Pete advance to the elite eight or will the Are You Afraid of the Dark fans show up this round?
TGIF and Such Bracket
(2)Fresh Prince of Bel-Air vs. (3) Saved by the Bell
Woooo have some fun voting in this one. This is a heavy weight match getting thrown out in the sweet 16. The winner of this match could go on to win it all and no one would be surprised. Neither show showed any weaknesses in the first round. Both shows are just loved by all. This one can go either way, folks.
No big shock here. Ren and Stimpy was a staple of young boy television in the early 90's. My parent's never really liked the fact I watched it.
Animaniacs d. Power Rangers (26-12)
I'm a bit surprised here. While I thought the criminally underrated Animaniacs was going to win, I thought Power Rangers was going to show some more of a fight here.
The Adventures of Pete and Pete d. Legends of the Hidden Temple (20-16)
Wow. Our first upset of the tournament. I wonder how many people Artie, The Strongest Man In The World, roughed up to get their votes.
Saved by the Bell d. Full House (31-7)
Now this is an ass whopping we didn't see coming. Full House fans completely no showed here. Jesse Spano and gang completely rocked them. SbtB may not like the fact that they're a 3 seed.
Today we go for the toss up games. The 4-5 match ups. These are always a doozy and anyone can win. Let's see what we got on tap today....
NickToons Bracket
(4)Hey Arnold vs. (5) Rocko's Modern Life
Hey Arnold!
Good show. Kind of hit it's stride as I was moving past Nick Toons though. This one was about Arnold, the kid with a football shaped head (he should get that checked out), and his school friends. All demographics of elementary school kids are represented in Hey Arnold!. You had the dumbass jock, the nerdy guy, the stuck up girl and the token black friend. The show really made it's inner city setting work.
Rocko's Modern Life
A solid #5 seed here. Rocko was the lovable wallaby who hung out with a cow and a turtle. Rocko's Modern Life holds up pretty well. There are a ton of adult jokes in there that I just didn't get when I was younger. The show is much better now than I remember it.
Saturday Morning Bracket
(4) Spider-Man vs. (5) Darkwing Duck
Spider-Man
You know, I was never a huge Spider-Man guy. I enjoyed what I watched but it wasn't much. Like X-Men though, I really liked that this had a somewhat mature on going story going on.
Darkwing Duck
I was a big Darkwing Duck guy though. For those that don't know, Darkwing Duck was a night time crime fighter. He put Batman to shame. He was one bad ass quacker.
Nickelodeon Bracket
(4)Hey Dude vs. (5)Keenan and Kel
Hey Dude
It's a little wild and a little strange. Hey Dude had a pretty mean run there at the Bar None Ranch. Made it to like 50 or episodes. Not too shabby when you consider Salute Your Shorts only pulled in about 22. My favorite episode was the one where they were telling ghost stories and the ranch got all creepy and it started raining. It rained on a dude ranch in Arizona. Anyone remember the episode where the guy came and tried to scam Mr. Ernst out of money and at the end he pulled a guy out on Ernst and Buddy? That was some serious noise. And also, there was this very racist scene.
Keenan and Kel
Who loves orange soda? Everyone after a few episodes of Keenan and Kel. Man that line caught on really fast. People still say it today. Oh and way to play down the stereotype that black people like fruit flavored soda.
TGIF and Such Bracket
(4)Family Matters vs. (5)Step by Step
Family Matters
This one was really solid and introduced the world to Dancing with the Stars future Hall of Famer, Jaleel "it ain't easy being" White. At one point Steve Urkel was the most loved character on television. Too bad he was wasting his time with that bitch Laura Winslow. She had to be the most unlikable character on tv. And what happened to your daughter, Carl? What happened?
Step by Step
The modern Brady Bunch. Step by Step fits in pretty well into the "this show had it all" category. You had the manlier than manly Patrick Duffy. His hot wife Suzanne Summer (that's 90's hot brotha). And you had their 6 kids. All of whom had their moments. Plus you had Cody, the stoner cousin that lived in his van. He was the one that was dumber than everyone but at the end of each episode he'd have some genius epiphany. And we got to watch the young Al grow up right before our eyes... and that was a treat.
Well Angelica tried to vote for CatDog but Tommy and gang foiled her plot again. No surprise here.
TMNT d. Goosebumps (33-5)
We're not shell shocked here, although I did expect Goosebumps to show us a little more fight.
Are You Afraid of the Dark d. Clarissa Explains it All (21-16)
This one came down to the wire but the strong 2 seed pulled away late at night. Coincidence? Probably.
Fresh Prince d. Dinosaurs (33-5)
We've seen Will Smith defeat aliens and vampires... why not Dinosaurs?
Today we tackle the 3 v. 6 match ups. We haven't had an upset in the first two days. Let's see if Day 3 provides some fireworks.
NickToons Bracket
(3) Ren and Stimpy vs. (6)AHHH!! Real Monsters
Ren and Stimpy
Like Rocko's Modern Life, Ren and Stimpy really pushed it with the adult humor. This was the original Nick Toon too. It was laden with fart and shit jokes and man we loved it.
AHHH! Real Monsters
I remember this one but I was never too fond of it. Something just didn't sit right with me. Maybe the Monsters freaked me out. Hey maybe someone liked it.
Saturday Morning Bracket
(3) Animaniacs vs. (6) Power Rangers
Animanics
This one also pushed the limits of children humor and it did a great job of it. Probably the most educational of all the children shows at the time, Animaniacs was compilation show that gave Pinky and the Brain it's start. What a show.
Power Rangers
It's not a coincidence that I hooked up Animaniacs and Power Rangers since there was some beef going on between these two shows. As cheesy as it was, Power Rangers was kind of sweet. It was also as close to a phenomena as a show can get. There were toys, movies, posters and all that jazz. Some of us probably got pretty deep into it too. I was never that big into it, I was always a Ninja Turtles Guy, but I do think I still have the movie on VHS somewhere in my parents house.
Nickelodeon Bracket
(3) Legends of the Hidden Temple vs. (6) The Adventures of Pete and Pete
LotHT
What a showing it had in the play in round by cruising past it's game show rival, Guts. Word on the street has been that the final Hidden Temple game carried the show. I have to agree
The Adventures of Pete and Pete
I get the feeling this wasn't as popular as Salute Your Shorts and Hey Dude, the three of which ran shit in the "non-SNICK" Nickelodeon shows. When it comes to standing the test of time, look no further than Pete and Pete. Go ahead, check out an episode, and you'll see that it was laden with themes that still work with adults (not that we're adults or anything). Plus it had the coolest intro song yet.
TGIF and Such Bracket
(3) Saved by the Bell vs. (6) Full House
Saved By The Bell
The definition of classic 90's television. There may have been some shows in this tournament that just didn't get watched but every single person watched Saved by the Bell. The characters have become such a part of our pop culture lore that when I say something like "that guy is the Zack Morris type", everyone knows what I mean. Right away. And AC Slater on the toilet? We all know that one. Amiright?
Full House
The Tanner family easily defeated Sabrina the Teenage Witch in the first round. Can they keep it up against the show many feel can go all the way?
The only real surprise... who voted for Angry Beavers?
Salute Your Shorts d. Alex Mack (36-7)
I expected more of a showing from Mack Attack here. I guess no one wanted super secret special powers growing up?
X-Men d. Scooby Doo (24-20)
You have one of these every round. One that ended up being closer than expected. Maybe I jumped the gun calling Scooby Doo an 8 seed but here we are. Scooby Doo? More like Scooby Don't (I thought of that one all by myself).
Boy Meets World d. Hanging with Mr. Cooper (38-7)
More of a showing than I expected from the Coop man but Cory and the gang proved to just be too much.
Today we hit up the 2 v. 7 round. A couple of classics show up today and the match ups could be pretty tight.
NickToons Bracket
(2) Rugrats vs. (7) CatDog
Rugrats
As far as most are concerned there are only two great Nick Toons. Doug and Rugrats. Rugrats followed the zany adventures of 5 infants and 1, extremely bitchy, toddler. Tommy Pickle was the leader and always came out on top in the end and we loved every minute of it.
Catdog
Another one I barely remember but I do remember liking this one. This is the one about the cat and dog that are somehow siamese twins. It probably took place in a post-nuclear attack Japan, I can't see any other way that such a creature could exist.
Saturday Morning Cartoons Bracket
(2) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. (7) Goosebumps
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
My personal favorite. The Ninja Turtles were some cool sons of bitches. We all know their deal and like the Power Rangers the TMNT were kind of a big deal. They spawned 3 movies in our younger days (although I only saw the first 2, I still have yet to see the 3rd one because it looked like such horseshit), there was an animated re imagination just a few years ago and we're just a few years away from a Michael Bay version. Great stuff. This is for the cartoon version though that we used to watch on Saturday Mornings. Man that got me craving some pizza.
Goosebumps
Weren't we all afraid of the things that go bump in the night? Anyone have parents that didn't allow them to watch this? Mine did because apparently they just didn't care about my well being. How about those books though? I bet a good 50% of us voters read a shit ton of Goosebumps.
Nickelodeon Bracket
(2)Are You Afraid of the Dark? vs. (7) Clarissa Explains it All
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
Ok, ok... full disclosure: "Are you Afraid of the Dark?" scared the shit out of me as a kid (probably now too). But I loved this show and I always wanted to be part of the Midnight Society. How many people got freaked out just by the opening credits?
Clarissa Explains It All
After a nice showing in the play in round, let's see if Clarissa can Explain to us why she's better than the Midnight Society.
TGIF and Everything Else Bracket
(2) Fresh Prince of Bel-Air vs. (7) Dinosaurs
Fresh Prince of Bel Air
There is nothing to say about this show. It was bar-none the funniest show on tv when it aired. You want proof?
Dinosaurs
Dinosaurs had a solid showing taking out Hang Time in the play in round. I honestly underestimated the love for the giant monsters. Let's see how it fairs against much tougher competition.
Looks like we all rather see G-G-G-GHOSTS than people getting attacked by T-Rex's on a children's show. Not too surprising considering the stoners that voted yesterday.
Legends of the Hidden Temple d. Guts (13-8)
I was expecting Hidden Temple to win this one but man I thought it would be closer. LotHT led pretty much the whole way. Funny considering that no one that voted would stand a chance in the Hidden Temple and most would shit themselves upon getting caught by the Temple Guards. But still, Olmek and his fans have spoken.
Clarissa Explains It All d. All That (15-5)
Not even close. Clarissa shows us who really is all that. Oh and for the guys that voted, I'm impressed most of you admit to watching Clarissa Explains It All to begin with.
Full House d. Sabrina the Teenage Witch (18-3)
Melissa Joan Hart learns the hard way that she can't win them all. Full House trounces Sabrina, proving that there is still a place in all our hearts for cheesy family shows. Anyone remember the episode where Michelle got amnesia? That was hilarious.
Dinosaurs d. Hang Time (16-5)
The Dinosaurs throw their weight around and convincingly take out Hang Time. I guess no one bought into the idea of a girl playing on the guys basketball team. Even if Anthony Anderson was on the team too.
Today, we're tackling the 1-8 match ups. Most of these should be lay up choices but like I said, this tournament has a lot of meat on it, so nothing can be taken for granted.
Nicktoons Bracket
(1) Doug vs. (8) Angry Beavers
Doug
The overall #1 seed. We all grow up on Doug and his friends of ambiguous race and his neighbor with debilitating downs syndrome. What isn't to love about Doug? From the crazy adults, his much cooler best friend, his dog that was smarter than anyone else to the dimepiece Patty Mayonaise and dickhead Roger Klotz. Doug really defined all our childhoods. I could go on and on but I don't need to. Doug speaks for itself.
Angry Beavers
No, this isn't a show about man hating lesbians. It's a Nick Toon about... actually I don't remember this show much at all. I recognize the name and I remember the show but don't recall much else. I think it may have been just past our prime.
Saturday Morning Bracket
(1) X-Men vs. (8) Scooby Doo
X-Men
Ahhh, X-Men. The one can't miss Saturday morning show. And one of the few that still really holds up. Not only was X-Men completely bad ass but it actually had a great on going story that really wasn't just for kids. Who is everyone's favorite X-Men? There were a bunch that liked Cyclops but he was a pussy. Wolverine was too mainstream. My man was Gambit. Dude was a bad ass mother fucker.
Nickelodeon Bracket
(1) Salute Your Shorts vs. (8) The Secret World of Alex Mack
Salute Your Shorts
My personal favorite. As crazy as it sounds there were only like 30 episodes of this show made but they were all pretty sweet. My favorite was the Zeke the Plumber episode, you know what I'm talking about. It also featured the real life Roger Klotz... Bobby Budnick. He was the man.
The Secret World of Alex Mack
This was tough to put as a #8 seed because I enjoyed it a lot. Alex Mack was the teenager that got contaminated with some shit and developed these cool super powers. She has to hide these powers because if she doesn't, the jackasses that work for the company that contaminated her would experiment on her. I don't remember many episodes of this one. I do remember the star, Larisa Oleynik, blossoming into a hottie in 10 Things I Hate About You but now she's just disappointing us all in Mad Men.
TGIF Bracket
Boy Meets World
Just as easily could have been the overall #1 seed. Probably as close to the live action Doug as you can get. No need to go into a description of the show, you've all seen it. The more reruns I catch of this on ABC Family the more I think Eric Mathews is the man. So much cooler than anyone else on that show, that includes your resident alcoholic, Shawn Hunter.
Hanging with Mr. Cooper
I honestly don't remember much about the relatively short lived Hanging with Mr. Coooooooper. I do remember that it took place in Oakland and they somehow made the city look 'not hideous'. I also remember it having a pretty snug spot on TGIF.
Man, that cereal tournament was a pretty sweet success wasn't it? In hopes of keeping that good vibe going, I'm starting a new tournament. One that will be hotly contested. One that may end friendships. We're going to decide, once and for all, which 1990's era TV show was the absolute best.
We have 37 TV shows that originally aired in our prime years. I've divided them up into 4 brackets. Those brackets are Nick Toons, Saturday Morning, Nickelodeon Shows, and TGIF/TNBC (with a few others mixed in there).
Today, we start with the Play In Rounds. As you'll see the play in matches include some legit shows. This tournament is pretty damn meaty.
First up: (8) SCOOBY DOO vs. (8) LAND OF THE LOST
Scooby Doo
We all know Scooby Doo. The lovable great dane with a love for solving crimes and Scooby Snacks. The prime of the show was a before our time but we've all caught re-runs. The show was pretty formulaic. The gang would go on adventures that would take a drastic turn to the horrific and they would find themselves having to solve a mystery. In the end, it was always Scooby Doo and his stoner friend Shaggy that would save the day and solve the mystery.
Land of the Lost
I used to love Land of the Lost. It kind of disappeared into oblivion after it got cancelled though. From what I gather it was a remake of the 1970's show of the same name. The idea of the show is actually kind of tragic. It's about a family of 3 that falls into this hole while on vacation and ends up in pre-historic times, where they have to learn to fend for themselves living in a land of dinosaurs. I honestly don't remember how the show played out. I don't think they ever made it home. That's kind of fucked up.
Gotta say, this next one, is a doozy....
(3) Guts/Global Guts vs. Legends of the Hidden Temple
Guts
I might get some shit for making Guts and Legends of the Hidden Temple play in games. My reasoning is that I feel we should only have one "game show" in that bracket plus the winner gets a 3 seed. So it's not like they're playing for an 8 seed here.
Guts was the epitome of athletic competition. No brain required to compete in Guts. Just gotta show strength, agility and awareness. Little known fact, Donovan McNabb never competed in Guts (or Global Guts). He also never won a Super Bowl. Coincidence? Probably. Didn't we all, at some point, just dream of climbing that Agro-Crag, slamming that button at the top and raising a piece of that awesome rock as our trophy? Better yet, didn't we all have a crush on Moira Quirk? That's 90's hot, brotha.
Legends of the Hidden Temple
Now this was a game show. You couldn't get by on just brawn here. You had to earn it with your mind too. I think there were a total of 8 teams each episode. First you have to beat out 4 of them in a physical challenge to advance to the Q&A round where the talking head of Olmek would deliver us with a completely made up historical story. He'd follow that up by asking the easiest god damn questions you can think of. Most of the kids had it figured out, but only two teams could win. Then of course there was always that retard team that never got one right. Once we were down to two teams we got a series of games they would have to play in order to move on to the Hidden Temple, where they would have to run through and grab puzzle pieces and if they could complete the puzzle they'd win a trip to space camp. Most of them failed but the real losers were the idiots that couldn't put the final puzzle together. It was 3 pieces. Youth today.
(7) CLARISSA EXPLAINS IT ALL VS. (7) ALL THAT
Clarissa Explains It All
A SNICK mainstay, Clarissa Explains It All was how we all typically started our Saturday night TV. Clarissa was about a hipster 15 year old chick trying to balance her family and her hate for her brother. A few things always caught me off guard about this one. First, I never understood why she had such a deep hatred for her brother. Second, why was said brother a dirty ginger? Third, how come Sam never got any? Home boy would climb up to her window 3 times a day and not once did anything happen. I can't classify Clarissa as a bitch for any of those things though. Just wait till I get to Laura Winslow.
All That
The SNL for grade schoolers. As much as I tried I was never an All That fan. Sure it had it's moments, but they always revolved around Good Burger. The show was always a highlight for a lot of us and I respect that. Keenan killed it with his how to speak French bits and that one fat chick was really popular. The show also introduced us to Amanda Bynes, before her DUI that is.
(6) FULL HOUSE vs. (6) SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH
Full House
Sure Full House was chock full of cheesiness but as kids we ate it all up. I honestly don't have much to say about this one. It really speaks for itself. We all know about. We all say all the episodes. My only problem was with how cool they tried to make Uncle Jesse. Am I the only one that saw a failed musician who opened up a night club that didn't serve booze that lived in a house that his brother in law owned. That ain't cool man.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch
The second Melissa Joan Hart TV show to make the cut. Sabrina was about well.. a Teenage Witch. Show had some cool moments and I'm going to hang on the fact that Salem the cat carried the show. That little furball was hilarious.
Ok last one of the day:
(7) Dinosaurs vs. (7) Hang Time
Dinosaurs
This show was the shit. I don't know how big an audience it had but it was easily one of my favorites. It was about a family of dinosaurs just living their lives. Sadly the show ended pretty tragically... with a freaking meteor coming and killing everyone.
Hang Time
A TNBC show that most of us caught on Saturday Mornings. Hang Time was about a high school basketball team that was coached by Dick Butkus. Why was it Dick Butkus? No clue. I guess the guy just knows his basketball.
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