Chimp Tries to Make a Run for It

Chimp in Daring Zoo Break-Out

ICHIRO! July 23rd - At the Ishikawa Zoo in western Japan a 42 year old chimpanzee named Ichiro valiantly tried to escape from captivity. He was almost successful, as the video shows, but eventually his captors were able to lure him with a banana and tranquilize him. Chimps are no joke, believe you me. I don't know this from experience or biological statistics, but I heard they are like 12X stronger then humans. I read this one story (in the Washington Post) about two years ago about a couple who rescued a female baby chimp and raised it in their home. Eventually after like 15 years the chimp got too aggressive, and needed a real habitat to live in, so the couple gave the chimp to a wildlife refuge that had other full grown chimpanzees. The couple kept in touch with the chimp and went for occasional visits. A year went by and the couple goes to celebrate the chimps birthday. They have a cake and balloons, the whole bit. They even got to go to a secure area of the refuge where they could have a picnic and play with their chimp. Unknowns to them, two full grown male chimps had escaped from their cages on the other side of the refuge. So all of a sudden these two huge chimps show up and start to freak out when they see the humans. The female chimp grabs the women and throws her under a table and tries to protect her. Meanwhile, the male chimps are literally ripping the man limb from limb. First they ripped of his testicles, then they tore the muscle right of the bone of his ass and chest. Obviously the man died, but the female chimp fought back to protect the woman, and lost her life doing so. The grounds keepers got there just in time to shoot the chimps and save the woman. Crazy huh? Its great that the female chimp tried to save her human parents, but this is why you don't fuck with animals. So its no surprise to see that little Japanese guy freak out once the chimp grabs his gun. You can see it in his face as he peers over that ledge that he knows hes in way over his head. I wish Ichiro could've handled that gun and blown those guys away. If chimps have almost the same life expectancy as humans, and can learn sign language and shit, you know they can handle a weapon. Everyone knows how to shoot a gun, and he has probably seen a gun be used hundreds of times. Personally I'm disappointed. I'm sure hes regretting that delicious banana now.

- Carl

P.S. This is the story. Not Exactly how I remembered it, but whatever.