March Cereal Madness: Sweet Sweet 16

First things first: THE RESULTS

Stop & Shop Bracket: 1st Round

3. Raisin Bran defeats 6. Cocoa Krispies 20-15

A cereal with the word "Bran" defeats a cereal with the word "Cocoa." I'm shocked.

Safeway Bracket: 1st Round

3. Corn Flakes defeats 6. Cookie Crisp 21-14

A cereal with the word "Corn" defeats a cereal with the word "Cookie." I'm shocked.

Publix Bracket: 1st Round

6. Rice Krispies defeats 3. Fruity Pebbles 27-8

Y'know, I thought Fruity Pebbles would cruise to the Sweet 16, but too many people apparently grew nostalgic thinking about their younger days, when they put their ears to their bowls and listened for the 3 holiest words in cereal mascotdom.

A&P Bracket: 1st Round

3. Corn Pops defeats 6. Special K 22-13

So it wasn't a clean sweep for the Plain Janes, and they can live with that.

Today's Matchups

Stop & Shop Bracket: Sweet 16

1. Cinnamon Toast Crunch vs. 5. Life

The Skim: Cinnamon Toast Crunch came into this contest as the top overall seed, and its trouncing of Golden Grahams only reinforced that notion. Life cereal is loved by kids all over the world ('cept the countries that don't. I won't name names.... Bangladesh). This just in.... parents love Life cereal too. Shit, this might be a nail biter for Chef Wendell's finest.

The Line: Cinnamon Toast Crunch -19.5

A&P Bracket: Sweet 16

1. Frosted Flakes vs. 4. Honey Bunches of Oats

The Skim: Frosted Flakes beat the funkyloving SHIT out of Crunch Berries in the first round. But then again, Frosted Flakes beat the shit out of Crunch Berries in the first round. Rumor mill says Honey Bunches of Oats is giving Vegas fits.

The Line: Frosted Flakes -16

The Polls:

Yesterday's voter turnout was embarrassing. Let's turn this ship around.