Jessica Simpson Sex Tape
All right, this is just speculation, but apparently there is a Jessica Simpson sex tape. When I first saw this I was pumped, but then I realized there are always two people in a Sex Tape, your Tommy to Pam, your black guy to Kim Kardashian, or your under-aged girl covered in piss to R. Kelly. So who will it be Jessica? If its that piece of shit Tony Romo I might not even be able to watch, and if I do, I'll have to rip my eyes out after. Didn't she date that little bitch John Mayer? If its that clown I may just cry at the fact that a douche bag like him even had the pleasure. So who is the only person that can save this sex tape for me? Nick Lachey. I know it might sound gay, but at least I can respect this guy. He has nothing going for him these days, his career is a joke, he's from the Midwest, and he's getting old. But at least he is still pounding prime grade A pussy and sluggin Miller Lites. I think now he's plowing that Vanessa Minnillo chick. Well done Lachey. So for our sake, lets all hope that there is a video out there of Jessica Simpson going to P-Town.
- Carl
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1 comment:
The best case scenario would be if the sex tape was of Tony Romo. Call me crazy, but nothing would delight me more than seeing her unsatisfied with Romo's performance, knowledge that he is miserably endowed, or seeing him pull a premie. How funny would it be to see her say "it happens to a lot of guys"? I think another highlight would be if she snapped the condom to Tony and he fumbled it. C'mon, who's with me? You can't tell me you don't wanna watch Tony Romo performing horrible sexually, and then turn to your buddy Terrell Owens and say "Terrell... what's wrong?..."
(whimpering) "Th-that's my teammate... th-that's m-my quarterback"
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